And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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