Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
