I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm sobbing to NWA
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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