2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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