Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
