Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize