You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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