i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
