I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
