During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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