I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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