I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
