ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
