I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize