I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It's never too late to be topless.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
