Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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