Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I deserve this hangover.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
