Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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