the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
