North Korea, Best Korea!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
