All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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