I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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