why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize