so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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