he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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