lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize