You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
So much rum. So many feels.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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