This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
