forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
