I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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