And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
