he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize