So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He felt like a one man threesome
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
