There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
