Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
MIDGETS
????
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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