i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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