last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Are we still banned from the library?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
