halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
