my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize