I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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