I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
even my farts smell like vagina
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
