In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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