He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
