ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
