When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
