She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
