It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
How external is "for external use only"?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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