I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just found a bag of teeth...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
