I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
