the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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