know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He did a backflip because drugs
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