Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
