I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
