Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I just found a bag of teeth...
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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