My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize