My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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