Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
