Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
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