just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I will be naked everywhere
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
