you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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