he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
